Carrie Jones, LPC - LifeVision Counseling, LLC

Licensed Professional Counselor in Richmond, Virginia

Tag: Mindfulness

True Self: The Observer

You Are Not Your Thoughts, Feelings, or Body—You Are the Observer

Ever felt overwhelmed by your thoughts or emotions, or caught up in judging your body? Many of us get trapped in our minds, believing that our thoughts, feelings, and sensations define who we are. But the truth is: you are not your thoughts, feelings, or body. You are the observer, the essence behind all those experiences.

This might sound a bit abstract, but it’s a powerful idea that can lead to greater peace and freedom in life. Let’s explore what this means in simple terms and how you can start embracing it.

You Are Not Your Thoughts

Our minds are busy places, constantly generating thoughts—some helpful, some hurtful. You might think, “I’m not smart enough,” or “I always mess up.” When we believe these thoughts, they shape how we feel and act. But here’s the thing: thoughts are not facts. They are just passing ideas.

Think of your thoughts like leaves floating down a stream. Some are light and harmless, others heavy and dark, but they all pass by. You are not those leaves—you are the observer watching them go by.

You Are Not Your Feelings

Feelings can be intense, like waves crashing on the shore. One moment you feel happy, the next overwhelmed with anxiety or sadness. Emotions can be strong, but they come and go. They are part of your experience, but they aren’t you.

Instead of saying, “I am anxious,” try saying, “I am feeling anxious right now.” This small change in language can make a big difference. It reminds you that feelings are temporary, not a permanent part of who you are.

You Are Not Your Sensations

Physical sensations—like a tight chest or a pounding heart—can make us feel uncomfortable or even scared. But just like thoughts and feelings, sensations don’t last forever. They are simply your body’s way of communicating what it’s experiencing.

When you notice sensations without reacting to them, you realize that they don’t define you. They’re just signals passing through your body, and you are the one noticing them.

You Are Not Your Body

It’s easy to identify ourselves with our physical appearance or abilities. We often judge ourselves based on how we look or what we can do. But your body is not who you are—it’s the vessel that carries you through life and it changes shapes and forms many times.

Your true self, your essence, is deeper than your physical form. By observing your body with curiosity and kindness, you can appreciate it without letting it define your worth.

So, Who Are You?

If you’re not your thoughts, feelings, or body, then who are you? You are the observer that watches everything unfold. You are the calm awareness behind every experience, the steady presence that remains, even when everything else is constantly changing.  The observer is the true self and the essence of who you are.

How to Practice Being the Observer

Here are some simple ways to step into the role of the observer:

1. Notice Your Thoughts
When a negative thought pops up, try not to react right away. Instead, acknowledge it: “I’m noticing the thought that I’m not good enough.” This creates a little distance between you and the thought, allowing you to see it for what it is—a temporary idea, not a fact.

2. Acknowledge Your Feelings
When emotions feel overwhelming, name them. “I’m feeling worried right now.” “I’m noticing sadness.” Naming your emotions helps you recognize that they are just passing states, not your identity.

3. Observe Your Sensations
Pay attention to what’s happening in your body without judgment. If you feel tension in your shoulders, simply notice it. Breathe into the sensation, and let yourself feel it fully without trying to change it.

4. Be Mindful of Your Body
Try to see your body as a friend, not a critic. Appreciate it for what it does—moving you, breathing, keeping you alive—rather than what it looks like. This shift in perspective helps you connect with the essence of who you are beyond your physical form.

Why It Matters

Realizing that you are the observer—the essence behind your experiences—can bring a deep sense of peace. It allows you to:
– Respond calmly to challenges instead of reacting impulsively
– Detach from negative thoughts and emotions that don’t serve you
– Accept yourself without judgment, knowing that your worth isn’t defined by your mind or body
– Live with more presence, embracing each moment as it is

Embracing Your True Essence

Understanding that you are not your thoughts, feelings, or body doesn’t mean you ignore them. Instead, it means you relate to them differently. You see them as parts of your experience, not the core of who you are. Your essence—the observer—remains steady no matter what’s happening around or within you.

The next time you find yourself caught in a storm of thoughts or emotions, take a deep breath. Remind yourself that you are the observer. You are the awareness behind the mind’s chatter, the calm presence watching it all unfold. This shift in perspective can help you navigate life’s ups and downs with a little more grace and a lot more peace.

Your true self is the observer.

Understanding Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Understanding Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

When it comes to therapy and improving mental health, one of the most widely used and effective approaches is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). This evidence-based method is popular for good reason—it’s practical, accessible, and works for a wide range of mental health concerns, including anxiety, depression, trauma, and more. But what exactly is CBT, and how does it help people make positive changes in their lives? Let’s break it down.

What Is CBT?

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a type of therapy that focuses on the connection between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The basic idea is that your thoughts influence how you feel and behave. If you can change your unhelpful thoughts, you can change the way you feel and act.

Imagine this: You have a thought, “I always mess things up.” That thought might lead to feelings of anxiety or sadness. Those feelings could then cause you to avoid challenges or give up easily, reinforcing the original negative thought. This is what therapists call a “negative cycle,” and CBT aims to break that cycle.

CBT helps you identify those unhelpful patterns, challenge them, and replace them with more realistic and constructive thoughts. It’s not about false positivity but about seeing things more clearly and responding in a healthier way.

How CBT Works

CBT is structured and goal-oriented, often involving sessions where you focus on specific issues. During these sessions, your therapist acts as a guide, teaching you how to become more aware of your thoughts and giving you tools to shift them. Here’s a closer look at some of the main components:

1. Identifying Negative Thoughts
The first step in CBT is learning to recognize unhelpful thoughts. These might be automatic thoughts that pop up without you even noticing them. A CBT therapist might ask you to keep a thought journal to track these patterns. For example, if you think “I’m not good enough,” your therapist will help you examine why that thought comes up and how it affects your emotions and behavior.

2. Challenging Negative Thoughts
Once you’ve identified a negative thought, the next step is to challenge it. Is it really true? What evidence do you have for or against this thought? A therapist might help you look at the situation from a different perspective, showing you how your mind can distort reality. For instance, the thought “I’m a failure” can be reframed as “I didn’t do well this time, but that doesn’t mean I’m a failure as a person.”

3. Replacing Negative Thoughts with Realistic Ones
After challenging negative thoughts, CBT encourages you to replace them with more balanced, realistic thoughts. For example:
– Negative Thought: “I’ll never get over this.”
– Realistic Thought: “This is really hard right now, but I’ve gotten through difficult things before, and I can learn how to cope.”

4. Behavioral Strategies
CBT isn’t just about changing your thinking—it’s also about changing your behavior. You might work on breaking avoidance habits, building new routines, or facing your fears step-by-step in a process called “exposure therapy.” For example, if social situations make you anxious, a therapist might guide you through gradual exposure to those situations until they become less overwhelming.

What Can CBT Help With?

CBT is versatile and can be used to address a wide variety of mental health challenges, including:
– Anxiety: CBT can help identify anxious thoughts and develop strategies to manage worry.
– Depression: CBT helps break the cycle of negative thinking and inactivity that can worsen depression.
– Trauma: CBT can be used to change negative thought patterns about past events and change the way they affect you emotionally in the present.
– Relationship Issues: CBT can improve communication and help couples understand how their thoughts impact their interactions.
– Stress: CBT provides tools for managing stress and finding healthier ways to cope.

Many people also use CBT to build general skills for emotional regulation, boost self-esteem, and improve overall mental well-being.

Why CBT Works

One of the reasons CBT is so effective is because it’s practical and hands-on. It gives you tools to shift your thinking. Research shows that CBT can lead to lasting change because it helps you develop new ways of thinking and behaving that become habits over time.

CBT also empowers you to be your own therapist. As you learn more about your thought patterns and how to change them, you become more capable of managing your mental health outside of therapy sessions. This sense of empowerment can be incredibly motivating, leading to greater self-confidence and a sense of control over your life.

Common Techniques Used in CBT

Here are a few specific techniques often used in CBT:

1. Thought Records
Thought records are a way of tracking your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in response to specific situations. By quickly jotting them down, you can see patterns more clearly and begin to challenge those unhelpful thoughts.

2. Cognitive Restructuring
This is the process of questioning and changing your automatic negative thoughts. It’s about finding more accurate and balanced ways to think about situations.

3. Behavioral Activation
If you’re struggling with depression, behavioral activation involves scheduling enjoyable or meaningful activities to combat low motivation and help break the cycle of isolation or inactivity.

4. Exposure Therapy
For those with anxiety or phobias, exposure therapy involves gradually facing fears in a safe and structured way. This helps reduce fear over time and teaches your brain that the feared situation isn’t as dangerous as it seems.

5. Mindfulness Techniques
Mindfulness is often incorporated into CBT to help people stay grounded in the present moment. It encourages you to observe your thoughts without judgment, which can make it easier to challenge and change them.

What to Expect in a CBT Session

A typical CBT session lasts about 45-60 minutes. At the beginning, you and your therapist will discuss what’s been happening recently and review any patterns that you have noted from tracking in-between sessions. You and your therapist will strategize how you can continue to progress in-between sessions through things like creating a thought diary on your phone, practicing new behaviors, or trying out a relaxation technique.

CBT is collaborative, meaning you and your therapist work together to set goals and decide which strategies to use. This makes it a very active form of therapy—one where you play a key role in your own progress.

How to Get Started with CBT

If you think CBT might be helpful, you can start by finding a licensed therapist who specializes in this approach. Many therapists offer online therapy if meeting in person isn’t an option for you. During your first session, you’ll likely talk about what brings you to therapy and what you’d like to get out of it. Your therapist will help you set goals and create a plan for how to achieve them.

Is CBT Right for You?

CBT isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay. CBT is structured and goal-oriented. If you like practical strategies and want to see measurable progress, CBT could be a great fit. It’s also effective for teens and young adults who may benefit from a more concrete, skills-based approach.

Final Thoughts

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a straightforward, effective way to improve your mental health. By helping you understand the connection between your thoughts, feelings, and actions, CBT gives you the tools to make meaningful changes in your life. Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, or just want to build better habits, CBT offers a practical path forward.

Remember, it’s not about becoming perfectly positive all the time—it’s about learning to respond to life’s challenges with a clearer, more balanced mindset. So, if you’re curious about CBT, consider reaching out to a therapist who can help you get started. You might be surprised at how quickly small changes in your thinking can lead to big changes in your life.

11 Fun Types of Meditation!

When you think of meditation, do you imagine sitting perfectly still with a blank mind? Many people assume that’s the only way to meditate, but there are so many ways to make meditation engaging, even fun! Whether you’re a natural daydreamer, love to move, or simply want help falling asleep, there’s a meditation style for you. Let’s dive into some popular and unique types of meditation to show you just how varied (and enjoyable!) this practice can be

1. Mindfulness Meditation – Savoring the Present Moment

Mindfulness meditation is about being fully present and aware of what you’re doing—whether it’s eating, walking, or even just breathing. But it doesn’t have to be dull! Try a “mindful eating” exercise with a favorite snack, paying close attention to every taste and texture. Or take a slow, mindful walk and focus on your surroundings. Even washing dishes or brushing your teeth can be more enjoyable when you turn it into a moment of mindful meditation.

2. Movement Meditation – Great for Active Minds

If you’re a mover by nature, movement meditation can be a great way to focus your mind while you’re active. Yoga is a classic option, but you could also try Tai Chi, which is like slow-motion dancing, or simply dancing to your favorite music. Pay attention to how each movement feels, focusing on physical sensations. By the end, you’ll feel both energized and calm, with a clearer mind.

3. Guided Imagery – Take a Mini Mental Vacation

Guided imagery meditation involves visualizing peaceful scenes with the help of an audio guide. Picture yourself lying on a sunny beach, wandering through a forest, or floating on clouds. It’s like taking a mental vacation, and you don’t even have to meditate “perfectly”—just let your mind be guided. This type of meditation can be soothing, fun, and a great way to unwind at the end of a long day.

4. Loving-Kindness Meditation – Warm Up Your Heart

In loving-kindness meditation, or “metta” meditation, you focus on sending love and positive thoughts to yourself and others. It’s a lot more enjoyable than you’d think to silently wish happiness for people you love, or even strangers. Picture each person in your mind and imagine a warm light surrounding them. It’s surprising how warm and joyful this practice can feel, almost like your heart is giving everyone a big, cozy hug.

5. Sound Bath Meditation – A Soothing Sonic Experience

Imagine lying down in a cozy space, closing your eyes, and being surrounded by calming sounds from gongs, crystal bowls, or chimes. Sound baths are designed to wash over you, helping you reach a deep state of relaxation without needing to “do” much at all. Many people find that the soothing tones make it easy to drift into a meditative state, even if they usually struggle to calm their minds.

6. Breathwork – Playful Breathing Exercises

Breathwork meditation uses simple, structured breathing exercises to focus your mind. Try the 4-7-8 technique (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8), or just take deep breaths and exhale with a big sigh. Playing around with different breathing patterns can feel like a game for your brain and is a great way to release stress quickly.

7. Body Scan Meditation – A Gentle Mind-Body Check-In

In a body scan meditation, you focus on each part of your body, usually starting from your toes and moving up to your head. Pay attention to how each part feels, like you’re scanning your body for little sensations. It can feel like a treasure hunt for hidden tension, and by the end, you’re likely to feel more relaxed and grounded.

8. Coloring Meditation – Art Therapy Meets Mindfulness

Coloring is another form of meditation, especially if sitting quietly feels challenging. Grab an adult coloring book or even just some paper and crayons, and get creative! The act of choosing colors and filling in patterns helps you focus without overthinking, giving your mind a rest from daily worries. This is a great option for people who like hands-on activities.

9. Laughing Meditation – Because Sometimes You Just Need a Good Laugh

Yes, laughing meditation is a real thing! This meditation involves beginning with fake laughter until it turns real. Start by laughing intentionally, even if it feels silly—soon, genuine laughter will follow. This exercise releases feel-good hormones, boosts mood, and can create a shared sense of joy if you’re doing it with others.

10. Affirmation Meditation – Give Yourself Positive Vibes

Affirmation meditation combines the power of positive thinking with mindfulness. Simply choose affirmations that feel meaningful to you (such as “I am calm and capable” or “I am enough”). Repeat them to yourself as you breathe deeply. This practice builds self-compassion and boosts motivation, and it can be surprisingly soothing, especially when you’re feeling stressed or low on confidence.

11. Sleep Meditation Apps – Meditate Your Way to a Great Night’s Sleep

If you want to relax before bedtime or even fall asleep while meditating, sleep meditation apps like Insight Timer, Calm, or Headspace have you covered. Some of these apps are free and they offer hundreds of guided meditations and calming sleep stories designed to help you unwind. Just turn on a relaxing session and let yourself drift off—it’s meditation and a bedtime story in one!

Meditation doesn’t need to be a quiet, stiff practice. Whether you’re into visualization, movement, sound, or sleep apps, there are plenty of fun and engaging ways to bring meditation into your life. The best part? There’s no “right” way to meditate—just find what feels good and enjoy the process!

Mindfulness

Mindfulness—it’s one of those buzzwords that seems to be everywhere lately, right? But there’s a reason for it. Mindfulness is all about learning to live in the *now* instead of getting lost in what happened yesterday or what might happen tomorrow. It’s a simple practice that can make life a lot less stressful and way more satisfying.

So, what’s the deal with mindfulness, and how can you actually put it to use in your day-to-day life? Let’s break it down.

Why Practice Mindfulness?

At its core, mindfulness is about paying attention to what’s going on right now without judging it. When you get good at it, you start responding to life with a little more calm and a little less panic. Here are some great reasons to give it a try:

1. Breathe Away Stress: Mindfulness can help you take a step back when things get intense, instead of letting stress take over. Think of it as a pause button that lets you chill for a second and reset.

2. Boost Focus & Get More Done: When you’re constantly thinking about 10 things at once, it’s tough to focus on the one thing you’re actually doing. Mindfulness trains you to focus on one thing at a time, making life feel less chaotic.

3. Build Emotional Strength: Life throws a lot of emotions at us, but mindfulness can help you manage them instead of getting swept away. You get better at observing how you feel and responding, instead of reacting.

4. Better Relationships: Ever had a conversation where you feel like the other person isn’t really *there*? Mindfulness helps you truly listen and be present, which makes you a better friend, partner, or coworker.

5. Show Yourself Some Kindness: We’re often our own worst critics. Mindfulness helps you notice when you’re being hard on yourself and encourages a kinder, more forgiving mindset.

Easy Ways to Start Practicing Mindfulness

So, how do you actually do it? Here are some fun, no-fuss ways to get started with mindfulness:

1. Breathe Your Way to Calm

The easiest way to practice mindfulness is just by breathing. Here’s how to do it:

– Sit comfortably, close your eyes if it helps, and take a few slow, deep breaths.

– Focus on your breathing—the feeling of the air going in and out.

– When your mind wanders (and it will!), just gently bring it back to your breathing.

Start with a minute or two. You’ll be surprised how refreshed it makes you feel.

2. Try a Body Scan

This is great for unwinding, especially before bed. Think of it as a mental check-in with your body:

– Lie down, close your eyes, and take a few breaths.

– Start at your head and work your way down, noticing any tension or soreness.

– Don’t try to change anything, just observe. You’re tuning in, not fixing!

Body scans can be super relaxing and help you fall asleep faster.

3. Practice Mindful Eating

Next time you eat, slow it down and really enjoy it. Here’s how:

– Notice the colors, smells, and textures of your food before taking a bite.

– When you take a bite, pay attention to the taste and feel of the food in your mouth.

– Savor each bite, rather than rushing through the meal.

Mindful eating makes food taste better and even helps you avoid overeating because you’re more in tune with how full you feel.

4. Take a Mindful Walk

You don’t need to sit still to be mindful! Walking meditation is an awesome way to connect with the moment:

– Find a peaceful spot, indoors or outside, and walk slowly.

– Notice how your feet hit the ground and how your body shifts with each step.

– Focus on each movement, and when your mind wanders, gently bring it back to your steps.

Walking meditation is great for calming down and makes a walk feel like a mini-vacation.

5. Use the 5-4-3-2-1 Technique

This is a quick go-to if you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed out. It’s all about using your senses to ground yourself:

– Look around and find 5 things you can see.

– Notice 4 things you can feel (like the warmth of your sweater or the floor under your feet).

– Listen for 3 things you can hear.

– Take in 2 things you can smell.

– Notice 1 thing you can taste, or take a sip of water if nothing comes to mind.

This exercise is a lifesaver when you need to snap back into the present.

Making Mindfulness a Habit

Mindfulness doesn’t need to be complicated, and you don’t have to be perfect at it. The goal isn’t to feel calm all the time—it’s to be more aware, more often, so you can handle whatever comes your way with a little more grace. Start small and be patient. Even a few mindful moments each day can make a huge difference over time.

So go ahead—give one or two of these exercises a try. Notice what happens when you bring your focus back to the present, even just for a few minutes. Mindfulness can help you savor life’s little moments and tackle the tough ones with a lot more ease.

Understanding Stress: Tips for a Calmer Life

Stress can sometimes feels like a constant companion. Whether it’s work deadlines, family responsibilities, or unexpected challenges, the weight of stress can be overwhelming. As a licensed professional counselor, I understand the profound impact stress can have on our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. In this blog, we’ll explore what stress is, its effects, and practical tips to help you manage it effectively.

What is Stress?

Stress is the body’s natural response to perceived challenges or threats. When faced with stressors, our body enters a “fight or flight” mode, releasing hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. While this response can be beneficial in short bursts, chronic stress can lead to a range of health issues, including anxiety, depression, insomnia, and heart disease.

Signs of Stress

Recognizing the signs of stress is the first step toward managing it. Common indicators include:

  • Emotional Symptoms: Feelings of irritability, anxiety, or depression.
  • Physical Symptoms: Headaches, muscle tension, fatigue, and sleep disturbances.
  • Behavioral Changes: Changes in appetite, withdrawal from social activities, or increased use of substances like alcohol or caffeine.

If you’re experiencing any of these symptoms, know that you’re not alone—and there are ways to find relief.

Tips for Reducing Stress

  1. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and deep breathing, can help you stay grounded. Try taking a few minutes each day to focus on your breath, allowing yourself to be present in the moment.
  2. Engage in Physical Activity: Exercise is a powerful stress reliever. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise most days of the week. Whether it’s a brisk walk, yoga, or dancing, find an activity you enjoy!
  3. Connect with Others: Building a support network is vital. Spend time with friends and family, or consider joining a support group. Sharing your experiences can provide comfort and perspective.
  4. Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to additional responsibilities that overwhelm you. Setting clear boundaries helps you prioritize what truly matters.
  5. Establish a Routine: A predictable routine can provide structure and a sense of control. Try to establish regular times for meals, exercise, work, and relaxation.
  6. Prioritize Sleep: Quality sleep is essential for stress management. Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep per night, and create a calming bedtime routine to help you unwind.
  7. Limit Screen Time: Constant exposure to screens and social media can increase stress. Set limits on your screen time, especially before bed, and consider unplugging for a day or two.
  8. Seek Professional Help: If stress feels unmanageable, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Counseling can provide you with tools and strategies tailored to your unique situation, helping you navigate stress effectively.

Take the First Step Toward a Calmer Life

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by stress, remember that you don’t have to face it alone. As a licensed professional counselor, I’m here to help you explore your feelings and develop strategies to cope with stress in a healthier way. Together, we can create a personalized plan that fits your needs and helps you find balance.

Contact me today and let’s work together toward a calmer, more fulfilling life. You deserve it!

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