Carrie Jones, LPC - LifeVision Counseling, LLC

Licensed Professional Counselor in Richmond, Virginia

Tag: life lessons

The Art of Letting Go of What No Longer Serves You

The Art of Letting Go: Moving Forward With Intention and Grace

Letting go. It sounds simple, yet it can be one of the most challenging acts in life. Whether it’s a relationship, a job, a dream, or even a version of yourself, the decision to release something that no longer serves you requires courage, clarity, and trust.

As a counselor, I often see people struggle with the idea of letting go, fearing that it means giving up or admitting defeat. But in reality, letting go is not about failure—it’s about choosing yourself and making space for growth. It’s an art that requires intention and self-awareness, and when mastered, it allows us to move forward into a life that aligns with who we are and who we want to become.

Letting Go Is Not Quitting; It’s Choosing Growth

Letting go is often misunderstood as quitting. But the two couldn’t be more different. Quitting is most often rooted in avoidance or shame.

Letting go, however, is an intentional act. It’s about recognizing that holding on to something—whether out of habit, fear, or obligation—is preventing you from moving forward. It’s not about avoiding hard work or challenges; it’s about making a conscious choice to release what no longer aligns with your values, goals, or sense of self.

When you let go, you’re not running away. You’re stepping toward something better.

The Beauty of Release

Letting go is powerful because it creates space. Holding on tightly—whether to relationships, dreams, or expectations—can feel safe, but it often leaves us stagnant. When you let go, you open the door to possibility.

Think of it like clearing out a closet. At first, it’s hard to part with items you once loved or thought you needed. But as you let go of what’s outdated or ill-fitting, you make room for something that serves you better. Life works the same way. Releasing what no longer fits allows you to embrace what’s next.

Moving Forward With Intention

Letting go is not just about leaving something behind; it’s about moving forward with purpose. It’s a process of aligning your life with what truly matters to you. To do this, you need to reflect on what you’re holding on to and why.

Here are some steps to approach letting go with intention:

  1. Identify Where You Feel Stuck.
    Is there something in your life that feels heavy or misaligned? Perhaps it’s a job that drains your energy and has turned toxic, a relationship that no longer supports your growth, or old programming that you “should” do something a certain way.
  2. Let Go of Others’ Expectations.                                                                                         Examine your thoughts and feelings about what others seem to expect of you.  By attempting to live life based on others’ expectations or perceptions, you might be living out of alignment with yourself.
  3. Acknowledge Your Emotions.
    Letting go often comes with grief, even when it’s the right choice. It’s okay to mourn what you’re releasing. Honor your feelings—they’re part of the process.
  4. Clarify Your Values and Goals.
    What do you want your life to look like? What aligns with your values, purpose, and vision for the future? Use these answers to guide your decision.
  5. Take a Small Step.
    Letting go doesn’t have to happen all at once. Start with a small step—like having an honest conversation, setting a boundary, or exploring a new opportunity.
  6. Trust Yourself.
    Trust that you are capable of making choices that support your growth and well-being. Trust that you are powerful enough to navigate the new. Letting go is not about perfection; it’s about progress.

The Freedom of Moving Forward

When you master the art of letting go, you free yourself from the weight of what no longer serves you. You reclaim your energy and attention, directing it toward what truly matters.

Letting go is not a single act but an ongoing practice. Life will continue to present you with opportunities to release and realign. Each time you let go, you reaffirm your commitment to growth and transformation.

A Final Thought

Letting go is not about giving up—it’s about stepping up. It’s about saying, “I deserve a life that feels true to me.” It’s about trusting that what lies ahead is better than anything you leave behind.

So, take a deep breath. Release what’s weighing you down. And move forward, knowing that the art of letting go is also the art of creating a life you love.

True Self: The Observer

You Are Not Your Thoughts, Feelings, or Body—You Are the Observer

Ever felt overwhelmed by your thoughts or emotions, or caught up in judging your body? Many of us get trapped in our minds, believing that our thoughts, feelings, and sensations define who we are. But the truth is: you are not your thoughts, feelings, or body. You are the observer, the essence behind all those experiences.

This might sound a bit abstract, but it’s a powerful idea that can lead to greater peace and freedom in life. Let’s explore what this means in simple terms and how you can start embracing it.

You Are Not Your Thoughts

Our minds are busy places, constantly generating thoughts—some helpful, some hurtful. You might think, “I’m not smart enough,” or “I always mess up.” When we believe these thoughts, they shape how we feel and act. But here’s the thing: thoughts are not facts. They are just passing ideas.

Think of your thoughts like leaves floating down a stream. Some are light and harmless, others heavy and dark, but they all pass by. You are not those leaves—you are the observer watching them go by.

You Are Not Your Feelings

Feelings can be intense, like waves crashing on the shore. One moment you feel happy, the next overwhelmed with anxiety or sadness. Emotions can be strong, but they come and go. They are part of your experience, but they aren’t you.

Instead of saying, “I am anxious,” try saying, “I am feeling anxious right now.” This small change in language can make a big difference. It reminds you that feelings are temporary, not a permanent part of who you are.

You Are Not Your Sensations

Physical sensations—like a tight chest or a pounding heart—can make us feel uncomfortable or even scared. But just like thoughts and feelings, sensations don’t last forever. They are simply your body’s way of communicating what it’s experiencing.

When you notice sensations without reacting to them, you realize that they don’t define you. They’re just signals passing through your body, and you are the one noticing them.

You Are Not Your Body

It’s easy to identify ourselves with our physical appearance or abilities. We often judge ourselves based on how we look or what we can do. But your body is not who you are—it’s the vessel that carries you through life and it changes shapes and forms many times.

Your true self, your essence, is deeper than your physical form. By observing your body with curiosity and kindness, you can appreciate it without letting it define your worth.

So, Who Are You?

If you’re not your thoughts, feelings, or body, then who are you? You are the observer that watches everything unfold. You are the calm awareness behind every experience, the steady presence that remains, even when everything else is constantly changing.  The observer is the true self and the essence of who you are.

How to Practice Being the Observer

Here are some simple ways to step into the role of the observer:

1. Notice Your Thoughts
When a negative thought pops up, try not to react right away. Instead, acknowledge it: “I’m noticing the thought that I’m not good enough.” This creates a little distance between you and the thought, allowing you to see it for what it is—a temporary idea, not a fact.

2. Acknowledge Your Feelings
When emotions feel overwhelming, name them. “I’m feeling worried right now.” “I’m noticing sadness.” Naming your emotions helps you recognize that they are just passing states, not your identity.

3. Observe Your Sensations
Pay attention to what’s happening in your body without judgment. If you feel tension in your shoulders, simply notice it. Breathe into the sensation, and let yourself feel it fully without trying to change it.

4. Be Mindful of Your Body
Try to see your body as a friend, not a critic. Appreciate it for what it does—moving you, breathing, keeping you alive—rather than what it looks like. This shift in perspective helps you connect with the essence of who you are beyond your physical form.

Why It Matters

Realizing that you are the observer—the essence behind your experiences—can bring a deep sense of peace. It allows you to:
– Respond calmly to challenges instead of reacting impulsively
– Detach from negative thoughts and emotions that don’t serve you
– Accept yourself without judgment, knowing that your worth isn’t defined by your mind or body
– Live with more presence, embracing each moment as it is

Embracing Your True Essence

Understanding that you are not your thoughts, feelings, or body doesn’t mean you ignore them. Instead, it means you relate to them differently. You see them as parts of your experience, not the core of who you are. Your essence—the observer—remains steady no matter what’s happening around or within you.

The next time you find yourself caught in a storm of thoughts or emotions, take a deep breath. Remind yourself that you are the observer. You are the awareness behind the mind’s chatter, the calm presence watching it all unfold. This shift in perspective can help you navigate life’s ups and downs with a little more grace and a lot more peace.

Your true self is the observer.

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