Carrie Jones, LPC - LifeVision Counseling, LLC

Licensed Professional Counselor in Richmond, Virginia

Tag: intention

The Intentional New Year

Embracing A Fresh Start for Growth and Well-being

As the calendar turns to a new year, many of us reflect on the past and look ahead to what the future might bring. The New Year offers a sense of renewal, a chance to reset and reassess our goals, habits, and mental well-being. It’s a time when we can look at our lives with fresh eyes, seeking ways to grow, learn, and become the best version of ourselves.

While the tradition of New Year’s resolutions is popular, it’s important to approach this time not with pressure or perfectionism, but with mindfulness and compassion. New Year’s offers an opportunity to reflect, not just on what we want to change, but on how we want to feel, grow, and connect in the coming year.

Here are a few tips to help you embrace the New Year in a healthy, balanced way:

1. Practice Self-Compassion

Starting a new year often brings with it expectations and hopes for improvement. While it’s normal to want change, it’s also essential to be kind to yourself. If you didn’t meet all of your goals from last year, that’s okay. Life is full of setbacks and challenges. The key is to treat yourself with the same care and understanding that you would offer a close friend. Approach the year with patience, allowing yourself to evolve naturally rather than demanding instant transformations.

2. Set Intentions, Not Just Resolutions

While New Year’s resolutions tend to focus on specific goals, intentions are broader, more flexible guiding principles. Instead of simply aiming for a weight loss goal or a specific career achievement, set an intention to prioritize balance, well-being, or growth. Intentions help you remain open to the process of change, which is often more important than any final outcome.

For example, you might set an intention to “be more present” with your loved ones, or “embrace new learning opportunities.” These can guide your actions throughout the year, while also allowing room for unexpected growth.

3. Focus on Mental and Emotional Health

The New Year is a perfect time to refocus on your mental and emotional well-being. Stress, anxiety, and burnout are common struggles, but there are steps we can take to manage them better. Whether it’s starting a daily meditation practice, engaging in regular physical activity, or seeking support through therapy, taking care of your mental health should be a priority.

Remember that well-being is not just about feeling happy all the time, but about acknowledging your emotions and taking proactive steps to cope with them. Check in with yourself regularly about how you’re feeling, and take the time to nurture your emotional health.

4. Celebrate Small Wins

Oftentimes, we focus so much on the big milestones that we forget to celebrate the small victories along the way. Achieving goals, no matter how small they may seem, is a testament to your progress and resilience. Whether it’s maintaining a healthy routine for a week or having a meaningful conversation with someone, each step forward matters. Acknowledging these small successes can help build confidence and motivation to continue on your path.

5. Strengthen Connections

The New Year is a perfect time to strengthen your relationships with family, friends, and your community. Social connections play a key role in our overall well-being, and investing in these bonds can bring immense joy and support. Whether it’s reaching out to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while or planning more quality time with your loved ones, relationships are an essential part of feeling connected and fulfilled.

6. Accept the Impermanence of Life

Life is constantly changing, and so are we. The New Year reminds us that nothing is fixed, and that we have the power to shape our future through our choices. Rather than resisting change, embrace it. View this time as an opportunity to explore new paths, learn from your experiences, and grow from challenges. Trust in the process, knowing that each year brings its own lessons and possibilities.

7. Take Time to Rest

Finally, don’t forget the importance of rest and self-care. The New Year can be a time of excitement and action, but it’s equally important to honor your need for rest. In a world that often encourages constant productivity, taking time to recharge allows you to show up as your best self—physically, mentally, and emotionally. Prioritize sleep, engage in hobbies that bring you joy, and make space for moments of peace and relaxation.

The New Year is an opportunity to reflect, reset, and move forward with intention. By approaching it with kindness, patience, and a focus on well-being, you can make the most of this fresh start. Embrace the journey ahead, knowing that each day holds the potential for growth, connection, and fulfillment. I’m here to help if you’d like a partner in moving toward possibility, progress, and peace.

What Do You Want Most In Life?

A Path to Clarifying Your Values 

We often go about our lives playing out our subconscious believes, patterns, and habits over and over every day. Many of us wake up early, go to school or work, come home, eat dinner, take care of household chores, zone out, and go to bed. We hope for the day when we can retire and then finally have time to enjoy life. But, our minds know that “someday” isn’t a guarantee. We can feel, in our souls, that we should be living life now. We sense that there must be a path to feel fulfilled. So, how can we begin to live more authentic lives? Although it is a thought many of us avoid, by recognizing that the length of time in our physical bodies on Earth is unknown and finite, we can recognize the importance of living each moment to the fullest. If you feel comfortable exploring, we can shrink this time to a more imaginable timeline so we can see what is most valuable to us.

What Would You Do with 3 Months to Live?

Imagine this: You’ve just been told you have three months to live. All your financial obligations are taken care of, your end-of-life plans and documents are in place, and there’s nothing left to organize. With no logistical worries to manage, the only question that remains is: “How would you spend your time?”

This thought experiment is more than a hypothetical—it’s a powerful tool for uncovering your values, focusing on what truly matters, and learning how to integrate those priorities into your life right now.

Step 1: Reflect on What Matters Most 

When faced with a finite timeline, our choices often become clearer. Start by asking yourself these questions:

– Who would you want to spend time with?

– What experiences would you seek out?

– What legacy or impact would you want to leave behind?

– Are there any relationships you’d want to mend?

– What brings you the most joy, peace, or fulfillment?

Take a few moments to jot down your thoughts. Don’t overthink it—write whatever comes to mind, whether it’s “spend more time with my kids,” “travel to the mountains,” or “finally write that book.”

Step 2: Identify Your Core Values 

Your answers offer a window into your core values. These are the principles and priorities that guide your life—whether you’re fully aware of them or not. For example:

– If you wrote “spend time with loved ones,” you may value connection or family.

– If you listed “travel,” you may value adventure or freedom.

– If you noted “help others,” you might value service or impact.

Understanding your values is key to living intentionally. They act as a compass, helping you make decisions that align with what matters most.

Step 3: Evaluate How You’re Living Now

Once you’ve identified your values, take an honest look at how they show up in your daily life. Ask yourself:

– Am I really prioritizing what’s most important to me or am I putting it off until “someday?”

– What am I giving too much energy to that doesn’t align with my values?

– What’s one small change I can make today to live more in line with what I care about?

For example, if family is a core value, but work is consuming most of your time, consider how you can create more space for your loved ones.

Step 4: Create a Life That Reflects Your Values 

Here’s where the magic happens: You don’t have to wait for a life-altering diagnosis to start living in alignment with your values. Use this reflection to reshape your priorities now.

Incorporate What Matters into Your Everyday Life: 

– If connection is important, schedule regular calls or visits with loved ones.

– If adventure excites you, plan mini-adventures like exploring a new park or trying a new hobby.

– If creativity lights you up, carve out time each week to paint, write, or build.

Let Go of What No Longer Serves You:  

– Reassess commitments that drain your energy or don’t align with your values.

– Learn to say no to opportunities that detract from what’s most important.

Focus on the Present Moment:  

– Practice gratitude for the people, experiences, and opportunities you have now.

– Spend less time worrying about the future or dwelling on the past—life is happening right now.

Step 5: Live with Purpose

Ultimately, the “three months to live” exercise isn’t about planning for the end of life—it’s about creating a life that feels full and meaningful today. By aligning your actions with your values, you can:

– Feel more fulfilled in your everyday routines.

– Strengthen your relationships and connections.

– Experience a deeper sense of peace and purpose.

A Final Thought  

We often wait for “someday” to start living the life we truly want. But the truth is, life is unpredictable, and someday isn’t guaranteed. By clarifying your values and making intentional choices now, you can create a life that feels rich, meaningful, and aligned with what matters most—starting today.

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Ready to Explore What Matters Most?  

If you’re feeling disconnected from your values or unsure how to create a more intentional life, therapy can help. Together, we can explore what’s important to you and how to design a life that reflects your deepest priorities. Reach out today to start your journey toward purposeful living.

Creating a Life Vision

Creating a Life Vision

In doing tasks of everyday life, it’s easy to get swept up in routines and lose sight of where we’re going. We often focus on short-term goals—meeting deadlines, paying bills, or finishing chores—but how often do we pause to consider the bigger picture? When do we think about what values are most important to us? How often do we think about designing the life we want to lead? That’s where creating a life vision comes in.

A life vision is a clear, inspiring picture of what you want your life to look like in the future. It serves as a guiding star, helping you make decisions that align with your values and long-term goals. Here’s how you can begin creating a life vision that brings clarity and purpose to your journey.

Step 1: Reflect on What Matters Most

The foundation of a meaningful life vision lies in understanding your core values. Ask yourself:

– What makes me feel alive and fulfilled?

– What do I want to contribute to the world?

– What is my purpose?

– How do I want to be remembered?

This step isn’t about setting goals yet—it’s about connecting with what truly matters to you. Journaling, meditating, or simply spending quiet time reflecting can help you uncover these insights.

Step 2: Envision Your Ideal Future

Imagine waking up ten years from now. Where are you? What are you doing? Who is with you? How do you feel?

Let your imagination run wild, and don’t worry about the logistics yet. Focus on creating a vivid mental picture of a life that excites and energizes you.

Consider these areas:

– Career: What type of work are you doing?

– Relationships: Who are the key people in your life, and what is the quality of those connections?

– Personal Growth: How are you nurturing your mind, body, and spirit?

– Lifestyle: What does a typical day look like?

Step 3: Identify the Gaps

Once you’ve envisioned your ideal future, take an honest look at your current reality. What’s missing? What needs to change? This step isn’t about self-criticism; it’s about gaining clarity on the areas that need attention to align your life with your vision.

Step 4: Set Intentional Goals

With your vision in mind, break it down into actionable steps. Ask yourself:

– What can I do in the next week, month, 6 months, and year to move closer to my vision?

– What small changes can I make today to begin the journey?

For example, if your vision includes becoming healthier, start with manageable habits like a daily walk or preparing more meals at home.

Step 5: Revisit and Refine

Your life vision isn’t set in stone. As you grow and change, your vision may evolve too—and that’s okay. Regularly revisit your vision to ensure it still resonates with your values and aspirations.

The Power of a Life Vision

Creating a life vision isn’t just about the future—it’s about empowering yourself in the present. When you have a clear sense of purpose, you can navigate life’s challenges with confidence and make decisions that feel aligned with your true self.

Ready to Start?

Take some time today to reflect on your values and dreams. If you’d like guidance on this journey, feel free to reach out. As a counselor, I help people step into a life they truly love. Your best life is waiting for you—let’s take the first step together.

Everything We Do Is About Emotions

Our choices may seem grounded in logic or practicality, but if you peel back the layers, you’ll find that they’re ultimately motivated by emotion. Beneath all our ambitions, relationships, and daily routines lies one simple truth: everything we do is an attempt to get closer to the emotions we want to feel.

Let’s unpack this idea by exploring how emotions shape our lives and the decisions we make.

# 1. **Our Goals Are Guided by Feelings**
– Imagine someone setting a career goal to earn a six-figure salary or even seven figures. At a glance, this goal seems driven by money, but the real driver is the emotional satisfaction they believe this will bring—perhaps feelings of security, pride, or the validation of their worth. If someone is aiming for a promotion or a fitness milestone, what’s at the core is often not the status or the health benefit but the feeling of accomplishment and confidence they expect to experience.

– Emotions like happiness, satisfaction, and fulfillment serve as the underlying motives for our aspirations. Our goals are less about the end achievement itself and more about the way we hope to feel when we reach them.

# 2. **Relationships and Emotional Fulfillment**
– Why do we seek relationships? Humans are inherently social, but we also crave emotional bonds because they offer a profound sense of love, belonging, and joy. Whether it’s friendship, romantic partnership, or family, relationships are largely about creating and sustaining feelings that make life richer and more meaningful.

– Even our interactions with acquaintances, neighbors, or coworkers are often influenced by how they make us feel. We gravitate towards people who make us feel good and avoid those who don’t. When we connect with others, we’re subconsciously choosing the emotions we want to welcome into our lives.

# 3. **Career Choices and Personal Satisfaction**
– People often assume careers are chosen based on practicality—what we’re good at or what will pay the bills. But deep down, we choose careers that make us feel accomplished, useful, or purposeful. For instance, someone may choose a career in teaching because it makes them feel they’re contributing positively to society, not necessarily for the paycheck.

– In jobs where these emotional needs go unmet, people frequently report dissatisfaction, burnout, and a desire to change paths. Ultimately, career decisions are often based on a quest for the emotions associated with fulfillment, respect, or purpose.

# 4. **Hobbies, Passions, and Joyful Moments**
– We engage in hobbies and passions not because they are essential for survival but because they evoke pleasure, creativity, or relaxation. Whether someone loves painting, gardening, or playing sports, each of these pursuits is rooted in the emotions they inspire.

– Moments of joy and flow—the times we lose ourselves in something we love—are powerful emotional experiences that keep us coming back for more. Our free time is shaped by what makes us feel the most alive and satisfied.

# 5. **The Link Between Emotions and Consumption**
– Consumption isn’t just about meeting physical needs; it’s deeply tied to our emotions. We buy things to feel a certain way. Whether it’s a new gadget, a designer bag, or even food, we often choose items based on how they’ll make us feel rather than pure necessity.

– Marketing and advertising strategies hinge on this fact. They don’t sell the product itself—they sell the emotions associated with owning that product: success, luxury, comfort, and sometimes even nostalgia or excitement. Our consumption patterns highlight how much we’re driven by the emotions we want to experience.

# 6. **Avoidance of Negative Emotions**
– Just as much as we’re motivated to chase positive emotions, we’re also motivated to avoid negative ones. This avoidance can influence our behavior just as strongly, if not more so, than the pursuit of positive feelings. We avoid confrontation because we want to sidestep discomfort. We might procrastinate on tasks that create stress. Or we steer clear of certain environments or people that bring us anxiety or frustration.

– This constant balancing act—seeking the emotions we want and dodging the ones we don’t—explains much of our daily decision-making. We’re hardwired to avoid discomfort, even if it sometimes leads to missed opportunities or delayed progress.

# 7. **Emotional Awareness as a Key to Fulfillment**
– Understanding that our actions are driven by emotional needs can empower us to make more intentional choices. When we recognize that what we’re really after is a specific feeling, we can adjust our goals and actions in ways that actually bring us closer to those emotions.

– Instead of assuming external achievements will automatically make us happy, we can focus on cultivating the feelings of fulfillment, joy, or love in our current circumstances. We might still work toward goals, but we’re no longer placing all of our emotional well-being on the idea that they alone will bring happiness.

**Emotions Are the Compass of Life**

When we come to terms with how emotions drive our choices, it can be a transformative realization. Everything from the big life decisions down to the tiny daily habits is influenced by how we want to feel. And when we start acting with this awareness, we can begin aligning our lives with what truly matters to us emotionally.

Understanding this can help us become more compassionate toward ourselves and others. Everyone is, in essence, pursuing the emotions they most desire, even if they don’t always know it. When we accept this, we can start living with a more intentional approach, taking each step with the clarity that we’re not just chasing goals—we’re chasing the way we want to feel.

Why Intentions Matter

Every day, we perform hundreds of actions, many of which are habits or routines we’ve formed over time. But have you ever stopped to consider why you’re doing them? The intention behind an action can drastically change not only our experience of that action but its long-term impact on our mental well-being and self-perception. It’s not just what we do that matters—it’s why we’re doing it.

Consider the example of preparing a healthy meal. The same action can be approached with vastly different intentions. One person might be cooking a nutritious dinner because they believe they must meet a certain standard to be worthy of acceptance. Another person, however, might be preparing the same meal as an expression of care for their body, honoring it as something that deserves nurturing. Both actions look the same on the surface, but the intentions are worlds apart—and so are the outcomes.

The Impact of Our Intentions

The reasons behind our actions often affect our mental and emotional experience. When we perform a task with negative or self-critical intentions, it can create stress, erode self-worth, or feel like an endless chore. However, when we do the same thing with a positive, value-driven intention, it can uplift us, increase resilience, and make the task itself more fulfilling.

Here are some reasons why intention plays such a crucial role in our actions:

  1. Positive Intentions Create Positive Associations: When our actions stem from a place of kindness and acceptance, they build positive mental associations, enhancing the experience and our motivation to continue. The same action can feel rewarding or draining, depending on its motivation.
  2. Intentional Actions Improve Self-Compassion: Acting out of self-compassion can shift our relationship with ourselves. When our actions are driven by a desire for self-care rather than criticism or shame, we cultivate kindness towards ourselves, building resilience and self-worth.
  3. Intentions Shape Our Experiences: Imagine doing something because you “have to” versus because you “want to.” That shift can turn a routine task into something meaningful. Our intentions act as the lens through which we see the world, adding depth and significance to otherwise ordinary activities.

An Example of Intention Shaping Action: Learning a New Skill

Let’s look at someone named Jamie, who has started learning to play the guitar. Jamie’s intention could go two ways. They might be learning because they believe it will make them more interesting or impressive to others. With this intention, every practice session feels like a test of their self-worth, and they’re constantly scrutinizing their mistakes. The practice becomes a stressful chore, and Jamie starts to feel defeated or like they’re not progressing “fast enough.”

Now, consider Jamie practicing with a different intention: to enjoy the process of learning and to connect with something they’ve always wanted to explore. Here, the focus shifts away from judgment and onto discovery. The same activity of practicing guitar becomes something fun and fulfilling—a form of self-expression that Jamie looks forward to each day. Mistakes are no longer setbacks; they’re simply part of the journey. Over time, Jamie not only becomes a better musician but also feels a sense of accomplishment and joy from pursuing something they care about.

Bringing Positive Intentions into Your Daily Life

  1. Identify Your True Motivation: The next time you find yourself doing something, pause and ask, “What’s my reason for doing this?” Try to identify whether it comes from a positive place, such as self-care, or from a negative place, like self-criticism.
  2. Choose Kindness and Curiosity: Reframe actions with self-compassion and curiosity. Instead of trying to prove something to yourself or others, approach each task as an opportunity to grow and experience something new.
  3. Set Small Intentions: Setting small, positive intentions each day can help shift your mindset over time. Whether it’s “to feel energized” or “to learn something new,” these simple intentions can give your actions a new, positive focus.
  4. Reflect on the Experience: At the end of the day, reflect on how your intentions influenced your actions and mindset. Celebrate any moments when you acted with compassion or positivity, and consider how you felt in contrast to when you acted out of fear or obligation.

Final Thoughts

Our intentions are powerful—they shape not only our actions but also how we feel about ourselves. By bringing mindfulness to the reasons behind our choices, we can transform everyday actions into practices of self-care and fulfillment. We begin to cultivate a life where even the smallest routines carry meaning and enrich our well-being. The shift might be subtle, but the impact on our lives can be profound.

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