Carrie Jones, LPC - LifeVision Counseling, LLC

Licensed Professional Counselor in Richmond, Virginia

Tag: Comparison

Deinfluencing

Deinfluencing: Reclaiming Your Power

The digital age has amplified the voices of influencers, individuals who shape trends, opinions, and even our purchasing habits. From social media feeds to YouTube reviews, it feels like someone is always telling us what to buy, how to look, or who to be. While influencers can offer helpful insights or recommendations, the growing counter-movement of “deinfluencing” invites us to pause and reflect: “Do I need this? Is this truly aligned with my values?”

As a counselor, I see how subtle pressures can erode self-esteem and create a cycle of comparison, dissatisfaction, and impulsive behavior. Deinfluencing is more than a trend; it’s a tool for mental wellness. Let’s explore what this movement is and how it can benefit you.

What Is Deinfluencing?

Deinfluencing is a pushback against consumerism and the influence of popular opinion. It encourages critical thinking about the choices we make, especially when we feel external pressure to conform. Instead of persuading you to buy, try, or endorse something, deinfluencing advocates for slowing down, asking questions, and making decisions that genuinely serve you.

Why Does Deinfluencing Matter for Mental Health?

1. Reducing Comparison and Anxiety

Social media often creates a highlight reel of perfection that leads to feelings of inadequacy. Influencers, whether intentionally or not, can make us feel like we’re not enough unless we own a specific product or adopt a certain lifestyle. Deinfluencing challenges this narrative, reminding us that our worth isn’t tied to things or trends.

2. Cultivating Intentionality

Many of us buy into trends not because we need, like, or want them, but because we’ve been subtly convinced we should. Deinfluencing promotes mindful consumption—choosing what adds value to your life rather than what simply fills space.

3. Building Self-Trust

When we stop outsourcing decisions to others, we rebuild trust in ourselves. Deinfluencing asks us to tune into our own needs and preferences instead of looking outward for validation.

4. Saving Emotional and Financial Resources

Chasing the latest must-have item or lifestyle can drain not only our bank accounts but also our emotional energy. Saying no to unnecessary influence can help us set healthier boundaries around our time, money, and focus.

Practical Steps to Embrace Deinfluencing

1. Audit Your Social Media

Pay attention to who you follow and how their content makes you feel. If certain accounts leave you feeling inadequate or pressured, it might be time to unfollow or mute them.

2. Pause Before Purchasing

Before buying something, ask yourself:

– Why do I want this?

– Does it align with my values or goals?

– How will it truly benefit me?

3. Focus on Your Values

Instead of following trends, identify what genuinely matters to you. Whether it’s sustainability, minimalism, or simply saving money, let your values guide your decisions.

4. Seek Support

If you find yourself struggling with feelings of inadequacy or being overly influenced by external pressures, consider speaking with a counselor. Therapy can help you build self-esteem, set boundaries, and regain confidence in your decision-making.

Reclaiming Yourself

Deinfluencing isn’t about rejecting all advice or isolating yourself from the world. It’s about reclaiming your autonomy in a culture saturated with voices vying for your attention. When you learn to filter out the noise and focus on what truly matters, you not only make better decisions—you build a life that’s authentically yours.

If you’re ready to explore how deinfluencing and other self-awareness tools can improve your mental health, I’d love to help. Feel free to reach out to my practice to start your journey toward intentional living.

Comparison: A Sneaky Thief

At first glance, comparison might seem like a helpful motivator. After all, seeing someone succeed or achieve something amazing can inspire us to aim higher, push harder, or explore new paths. It can even give us a short-term boost — a feeling of confidence or satisfaction if we measure up or even surpass others in some way. But comparison has a dark side. What starts as a quick comparison can easily become a habit, and over time, it can start to harm us rather than help. This “sneaky thief” can rob us of joy, satisfaction, and even self-worth.

Let’s take a closer look at how comparison negatively impacts us in the long run and, more importantly, how we can break free from it.

The Hidden Costs of Comparison

1. Temporary Highs, Long-Term Lows

While comparison can sometimes make us feel good, that feeling is usually fleeting. As soon as someone else achieves something “better,” the satisfaction fades, and we find ourselves constantly searching for the next win. It perpetuates false beliefs that we are “not enough.” This cycle of highs and lows can leave us feeling emotionally drained and chronically dissatisfied.

2. Undermining Self-Worth

Constant comparison can erode our self-worth. Instead of appreciating ourselves for who we are, we start measuring our value against someone else’s success, lifestyle, or appearance. This pattern can lead to chronic self-doubt and low self-esteem, as we feel we’re never “enough.”

3. An “Illusion of Lack”

Comparison often tricks us into focusing on what we lack rather than appreciating what we have. We fixate on the things that others seem to have in abundance — be it money, success, beauty, or happiness — and overlook the richness of our own lives. This “illusion of lack” can make us feel that our lives are incomplete or inadequate, even if we have so much to be grateful for.

4. Increased Anxiety and Pressure

When comparison becomes a habit, it can create a constant feeling of pressure. We may feel like we’re in a race we didn’t sign up for, struggling to keep up with others’ achievements or standards, whether we actually want those things or not. This can lead to higher stress levels, anxiety, and even burnout.

5. Strained Relationships

Comparison doesn’t just impact how we see ourselves; it affects how we view others. If we see friends, coworkers, or family members as “competitors,” we’re less likely to connect with them meaningfully. Jealousy and resentment can creep in, creating distance in relationships that would otherwise be supportive and fulfilling.

How to Break Free from the Comparison Trap

Breaking the habit of comparison can take time and conscious effort, but it’s entirely possible. Here are some strategies to help us refocus our energy on what truly matters:

1. Practice Daily Gratitude

Make it a habit to list a few things you’re grateful for each day. Gratitude helps redirect your focus from what you lack to what you have. Over time, this practice builds a mindset of abundance and helps reduce the urge to compare.

2. Define Your Own Success

Take time to define what success means for you based on your values, strengths, and goals. When you have a clear vision of what you want from life, you’ll feel less compelled to measure yourself against someone else’s version of success.

3. Limit Social Media Exposure

Social media is often a highlight reel — not an accurate reflection of reality. Reducing screen time or unfollowing accounts that spark feelings of inadequacy can help lessen the urge to compare. Instead, follow people and pages that genuinely uplift and inspire you.

4. Celebrate Others without Comparison

Practice celebrating other people’s wins without comparing them to your own achievements. This not only helps strengthen your relationships but also reduces the feeling of competition. Genuine happiness for others can be freeing and rewarding.

5. Focus on Self-Compassion

Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Instead of criticizing yourself for not “measuring up,” practice self-compassion. Recognize that everyone’s journey is unique, and each of us has our own strengths and challenges.

6. Commit to Your Own Path

Rather than asking, “Am I doing better than others?” try asking, “Am I happy?Do I have joy? Am I growing? Am I learning? What do I really want my life to be about?” Shift your focus to yourself and your own path.

Moving Beyond Comparison

Comparison may seem like a harmless habit, but it often steals our peace and clouds our perspective. When we focus on our own path, celebrate our progress, and practice gratitude, we find greater fulfillment and self-acceptance. Embracing these practices lets us reclaim the joy that comparison tries to steal.

Let’s leave comparison behind. Life is too precious to spend it measuring ourselves against others. Instead, let’s choose to live fully, appreciating who we are and celebrating our unique journey.

Sidebar